7 Steps to Relieve Stress and Anxiety Guest Post by By Carthage

Stress and anxiety are prevalent in modern life. When the pressures and demands exceed your capabilities, stress and anxiety soon raise their ugly heads. The consequences can be horrific. Your health, relationships, and career can be seriously affected by stress and anxiety. When you find yourself in this situation, it is important not to panic. You need to devise a plan and some actions which can get you back on track and carry you towards the achievement of your goals and objectives. Wallowing in despair has never solved a problem, nor will it ever do so. Positive, effective action is required.

7 Steps to relieve stress and anxiety

The following 7 steps will help you to relieve stress and anxiety, wherever or whenever it may arise in your life. When you find yourself experiencing stress and anxiety, work your way through these steps and you will experience relief.

1. Establish a routine

Stress and anxiety often arise as a result of disorganisation or lack of control. Having a routine for your life gives you predictability and control over events. When you have clear routines, which you can follow on a daily basis, you are able to make progress on your key goals and objectives, without having to exert a great deal of thought or effort. Small steps, taken daily, carry you towards your objective.

There will be times when issues arise out of the blue. However, these occasions will be fewer and further between. As the majority of your life will be under control, these events will have a lesser impact and you will have more energy and confidence to tackle them quickly.

2. Establish a support group

I am not talking about a formal support group here, although depending on your specific issues, a formal support group may be able to help you. Regardless of the issues which you face, your life can always benefit from mutually beneficial relationships. These are the type of relationships where friends support each other, through good times and bad.

This is not about burdening others with your problems. When you have built mutually supportive relationships, you have friends who are happy to lend an ear and help you through your most difficult times.

3. Be good to yourself

When you are down and you are overcome by stress and anxiety; it feels like the world is beating you up. There is no need for you to join in. Rather than berate yourself; take the time to shower yourself with love and kindness. When you are overcome by stress and anxiety; it takes a lot of confidence and self-esteem to pull through.

Be the first person to treat you with kindness and compassion. When you believe yourself to be worthy of kindness and compassion, and you demonstrate this through your behaviour, others will follow suit. If you have hit a low point, remember that being good to yourself is the start of your recovery.

4. Practice acceptance

It may be tempting to deny how you are feelings but there is nothing to be gained by doing so. When you deny your feelings, you bottle them up. This does not eliminate those feelings. Instead, they reside within you and they come back to bite you, regularly. Remember, pretending that something does not exist does not make it go away.

The healthy approach is to accept and acknowledge your feelings.  Ideally, you would talk to somebody that you trust but if this is not possible; try to find some way to express your feelings. Other methods include:

  • Keeping a journal
  • Painting
  • Poetry
  • By being active e.g. physical training, punching a punch bag

There are endless ways to express and release your feelings so choose at least 1 which suits you.

5. Tackle what you can

If your stress and anxiety is severe, you might not be in a position to tackle the whole problem. This can cause you to sit idly by and watch as your stress and anxiety increases. Just because you cannot tackle the entire problem; it does not mean that you cannot tackle parts of the problem. Break the problem down into the smallest tasks possible. Then, identify which tasks you are ready to tackle and take the necessary action.

As you complete each task, no matter how small, you are reducing the size of the problem and reducing its impact on you. As you do so, your confidence and momentum builds and you feel ready to take on bigger and bigger challenges. Recovery is a gradual process but it will occur quicker if you keep taking positive action, one small step at a time.

6. Have fun

One common trait that I find amongst clients who are stressed is the lack of fun time. When you get really busy, it is easy to forget about scheduling some time to have fun and relax. Fun and relaxation do not occur naturally for busy people. You do have to schedule them. Review your schedule to ensure that you are including sufficient time for your favourite hobbies; sufficient time with your family, friends and loved ones; and sufficient time for relaxation.

Life cannot be all work and no play. Building fun and relaxation into your schedule will have a profound effect on your stress and anxiety levels.

7. Avoid overuse of dependant substances

There are a number of dependant substances which people turn to when faced with pressure or stress. These include drugs (both prescription and illicit), alcohol, tobacco and caffeine. While these substances may give you a temporary sense of relief, your problems will still be there when their effects wear off. Also, these substances, when misused, bring problems of their own.

From my own experience; when I was under a lot of stress, I used to have a few drinks. While it never turned into a dependency, I found that drinking had no positive impact. This was one of the many reasons why I decided to give up alcohol in 2006. Since I gave up alcohol, my ability to solve problems and avoid stressful situations has improved exponentially.

We are living in a hyperactive and highly active time. With the increase in technology, we are contactable 24/7 and we are expected to solve problems quicker than ever before. These are just some of the unrealistic demands which have been placed upon us. The improvement in technology has resulted in a misguided pursuit of greater efficiencies, instead of greater effectiveness.  When you add in the impact of a world recession, the need to be able to manage yourself and your life is more important than ever before. There may be times when your ability to cope with the pressure is exceeded, resulting in stress and anxiety. When this happens, rather than panic, you can focus on taking positive action to overcome the problem. The 7 steps, outlined above, will help you make giant strides towards eliminating stress and anxiety from your life.

READ MORE: http://coachingpositiveperformance.com/7-steps-relieve-stress-and-anxiety/

How to be More Influential in Your Current Role Guest Post By Jo Miller

What are some ways to influence others before earning a higher title?

I think this is the great catch-22 that most aspiring leaders deal with: That you can’t get a promotion without showing that you can influence and lead others, but you can’t gain the influence without the higher level job title that comes with a promotion. But, it’s actually a myth! You can and must learn to influence without authority if you want to show that you’re capable of leading at a higher level.

For anyone who has aspirations to climb beyond the job they are currently in, it is critical to find ways around that catch-22, and develop skills to “influence without authority.” If you can demonstrate that skill, you’re more likely to get promoted into a role where you have positional authority. It’s tough, but that’s the way the corporate world works.

So how do you build skills to influence without authority?

Don’t wait for someone to promote you, or hand you a leadership role or assignment. Find a colleague or a team who could use some motivational support, and provide it. Or find project that needs a leader, and commit to making it happen. Think about the end result you’re trying to achieve, and try to understand what others might find exciting and motivating about achieving that goal. For example, do they crave a challenge or have an interesting technical problem to solve, do they love being part of a winning team, or are they anxious to present in front of senior executives? How can you tap into their innate motivation? That’s the most powerful source of influence there is.

Do you advise up-and-coming employees to negotiate for a higher title before taking on any leadership projects?

Someone once said “Don’t accept responsibility without authority” and it sounded good, so it became part of conventional leadership wisdom. But in the real world, if you try to negotiate a higher level title every time someone offers you a leadership project, but you haven’t yet established a track record of meeting commitments and delivering outstanding results, you will seem entitled and likely be denied the promotion. So my recommendation is to take the assignment, knock it out of the park, then ask for another one and knock that out of the park too. When you’ve established a well-documented track record of success, bring those facts to your management as you ask for the promotion.

Why are influencing skills so important to being effective at your job?

It helps to understand what influence really is, and I propose that it is about your ability to make things happen that you can’t accomplish alone. There comes a time in everyone’s career where you have a goal or are given a result to achieve, and it is bigger than you can accomplish alone. If you can’t do it yourself, you need to lead, motivate, engage and influence others to get on board. Without influencing skills you’re limited to accomplishing what you can do on your own. It’s a tough leap to make, from being a “doer” to being a leader but essential if you want to really make a bigger impact in business.

What is positional influence and why isn’t it the only or best way to influence?

Positional influence is the influence inherent in your job title and role. Our corporate workplaces are hierarchical for the most part, and someone whose business card says Vice President is assumed to have more power than an individual contributor. But titles don’t tell the full story. We have all known someone who was lower in the traditional hierarchy who was the go-to person if you needed to get something done, and we have all worked with a leader who was promoted beyond the level of their competence. So while a high-level job title may initially open doors for you, you simply can’t rely on it alone if you really want to lead and influence others, build high-performing teams, and make great stuff happen.

I once heard a panel of women leaders in the biotech industry discuss this, and one exec remarked, “There is a myth that the higher you go in the organization and the more positional authority you gain, that you just have to say ‘do it’ and people get it done. I hate to bust your bubble.”

Positional influence isn’t all that we make it out to be. Anyone at any stage in their career can make great things happen, with interpersonal influencing skills.

A special thank you goes out to Retail Dietitains Business Alliance for allowing  me to share this article.


Jo Miller

Jo is Founding Editor of Be Leaderly, CEO of Women’s Leadership Coaching, Inc., and creator of the Women’s Leadership Coaching® system, a roadmap for women who want to break into leadership. She has traveled in Europe, North America, Asia Pacific, and the Middle East to deliver keynotes and workshops, and counts being the only Aussie women’s leadership coach in Iowa among her unique “koalafications.” Learn more about Jo’s services atwomensleadershipcoaching.com and follow @jo_miller on Twitter.

12 Things That Successful Leaders Never Tolerate Guest Post by Lolly Daskal President and CEO, Lead From Within

Tolerance is a virtue–most of the time. But some things should never be tolerated. To build a successful career and life, make sure as a leader these are never on your list.

By and large, tolerance is a good trait. The differences we encounter enrich our lives and organizations. But to attain a successful life and meaningful leadership,we must refuse to tolerate the things that deplete, and ultimately destroy, us.

Start by declaring these things intolerable in yourself and those around you–and see what changes as a result.

1. Dishonesty

Living an honest life allows you to be at peace with others and yourself. Dishonesty imposes a false reality on your life and those around you.

2. Boredom

Successful people are generally exploring something new. Life is too short for inactivity and staying in your comfort zone.

3. Mediocrity

It’s easy, and a constant temptation, to settle for less. But what makes some people stand out is their willingness to make the hard choices that allow a life of greatness.

4. Negativity

Every negative thought keeps you from being your best. If you hear yourself complaining, out loud or to yourself, find a way to shut it down.

5. Toxicity

At work or at home, a toxic environment will literally make you sick. If it doesn’t feel right, if it makes you tired or fills you with dread, cut yourself loose.

6. Disorganization

Clutter and disorder cause stress and affect your emotional and mental well-being. Get rid of what you don’t need and keep everything else where it belongs.

7. Unhealthy anything

Unhealthy food, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy habits–choose what you do wisely. Remind yourself that you deserve better, and then give yourself better.

8. Regrets

We all have regrets, but you can’t move toward your future if you’re dwelling on the past. Learn from it, right any wrongs where you can, and leave it behind.

9. Disrespect

Relationships are at the heart of success, and respect is at the heart of good relationships. Disrespect–whatever the form and whomever it’s directed toward–is one of the most destructive forces you can harbor.

10. Distrust

Distrust often arrives through a succession of little compromises here and there, so be watchful. Focus on building your own integrity and surround yourself with others who do the same.

11. Anger

We all feel anger, and in its place it can move you to action. But holding onto anger is paralyzing and accomplishes nothing. Learn to direct anger toward problems, not people, and then get over it.

12. Control

Don’t worry about the things you can’t control. Focus your energy where it can do good, and learn to let go of the rest.

Pay attention to the difference between the things that are truly positive in your life and the things you just let happen.

Remember, you are sum of what you tolerate!

SOURCE: Inc http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/12-things-that-successful-people-never-tolerate.html

How to Live a Positive Life in a Negative World Guest Post by Iamthelawofattraction

How to live a positive life in a negative world

How to live a positive life in a negative world?    ………Staying positive can be extremely hard especially in todays world, where 99% of us are living in the human rat race. Why is it hard for the 99% of people, simple because it is hard to stay positive when your life sucks. But you have to follow the law of attraction and it is simple you can not live a positive life with a negative mind. We need to wipe the slate clean reprogramme the brain and reboot with positive thoughts and feelings.

Our brains are more likely to seek out negative information and store it quickly to memory than positive information. So basically we have been tuned to doing this to our brain from the day we were born. I will answer How to live a positive life in a negative world.

How to live a positive life in a negative world

Why? Because we live in a negative world, Our media is negative, you get up in the morning turn on the tv and the morning news is telling you how many people died in a car crash, how children in a school have been shot and even how shit the weather is going to be that day. All before you have even eaten your breakfast. All this negative is being stored and setting you up for to attract more negative. Our newspapers are the same, death notices, how parents have abused their kids etc and the radio is just the same. So we have to live a positive life in a negative world.

I am going to give you some steps on how to stay positive each day. These tips are the tips I used when every day I was getting up in a mood because I was in debt and could not escape the human rat race. I was working the dead end job and life was dull and a struggle, but I changed my thoughts and reprogrammed my brain and I can show you the same.

Express Gratitude: To help your brain store positive events, reflect on what you’re grateful for. We must be grateful in order to attract more things to be grateful for. When I was using this process I would be grateful for having my son and being able to spend time with him. I would be grateful for my beautiful wife and how I was blessed with my family. I was grateful for the house I had and the car I drove. I was grateful for the food I had to eat. I was grateful for my health and being allowed to stay on the earth for as long as I have. I was grateful for the birds singing outside and the people in my life. I done this every morning when I woke and before I slept at night. This was a change in my thought because those two times where the times I was thinking of my debt and job and all the negative things. So I reprogrammed the brain to be positive and the first step be grateful.

Meditate: I love to meditate as it gives me such a positive feeling and a great outcome. I try and spend at least half an hour each day meditating. Sometimes we all just need a mental break and meditation can be very simple. Go into a quiet and comfortable space. Relax your muscles and close your eyes.Take a deep, long breath and slowly exhale. Keep doing this and think happy and positive thoughts. Think about the goals you have in life and where you want to be. Reflect on all the great things in your life and all the great experiences you have had. This helps you clear your mind and feel better.

We all struggle from time to time some more than others. But be kind to yourself . Your not alone. You are important no matter what challenges come your way or how hard you struggle. Always remember that you matter and stay positive. You will make a difference in your life and the lives of others. You will overcome your struggle. Staying positive in any situation sets up a great mind set and keeps you on the right path.

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So we have answered the question How to live a positive life in a negative world? I hope it as helped you life a more positive life.


Remember stay positive


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4 Incredibly Easy Ways To Practice Everyday Gratitude Guest Post By Catherine Pearson

With Thanksgiving here, now is the time when many of us pause to reflect on all that we have and give thanks. But research shows there are major benefits to practicing gratitude — which Robert Emmons, a professor in UC Davis’ psychology department and author of Gratitude Works, defines as an “awareness of how we are supported and sustained by others, and a desire to give back the good that we have received” — throughout the year. It boosts well-being, improves sleep and may even help improve immune system function.

In more poetic terms, “gratitude makes life freer, lighter and easier,” Emmons tells The Huffington Post. “It empowers us to take control over our emotional lives, and not be at the whim of others or circumstances.” Here are four simple ways to work gratitude into your daily life now — and throughout the year.

Write a letter…

writing a letter

Steven Toepfer, an associate professor in the department of human development and family studies at Kent State University, has investigated the close connection between gratitude and well-being. In a 2011 study of more than 200 relatively happy undergraduate students, he and his team found that those who wrote one meaningful letter of gratitude per week over the course of three weeks — spending about 15 to 20 minutes on each — experienced significant gains in happiness and life satisfaction, and a decrease in depressive symptoms.

“You don’t even have to mail the letters,” Toepfer says. “The process is about reflecting, in a conscious way, on the things you are grateful for.”

There is some suggestion in the body of literature on gratitude and well-being that those gains diminish with time, and some of the students in the study reported that they found it more difficult to write the third letter than the first, Toepfer says. But overall, the study suggests that a few minutes spent directing real gratitude toward a person once a week can make a big difference.

…or get out your journal.

man with journal

There’s a reason why Oprah is such a vocal proponent of the gratitude journal:Emmons’ research has found that men and women who wrote a few lines each week about things that had occurred recently that made them feel grateful tended to feel more optimistic and better about their lives overall. (If pen and paper isn’t your style, try one of the many gratitude apps available now, Emmons urges.) As Forbes reports, studies have even found that keeping a gratitude journal may help improve sleep.

“We all have this store of gratitude, and if we let it sit dormant, it’s not going to benefit us,” Toepfer says. “All these ‘gratitude inductions’ do is help us tap into that wonderful reservoir we have.”

Watch what you say.


Gratitude is as much about what you don’t say as what you do, according to Emmons — and indeed, as NBC has reported, studies suggest that complaining about one’s problems may be linked to depression and anxiety. Of course, research has also foundthat there can be benefits to venting, so it’s all about striking a balance.

“Grateful people have a particular linguistic style,” Emmons says — they tend to talk about things like gifts, givers, blessings, fortune and abundance.

“Ungrateful people, on the other hand, tend to focus on deprivation, deservingness, regrets, lack, need, scarcity [and] loss,” he adds. “The trick is to watch your mouth! We are what we say.”

Immerse yourself in it.

woman reading

If you still need an extra push to actually make gratitude a part of your daily life, reading inspirational materials can be a powerful means of, as Emmons puts it, “massaging the truths contained in them deep into our bones.” Everyone from Ralph Waldo Emerson to Charles Dickens has weighed in on the importance of giving thanks, and spending a few minutes reading others’ reflections on the importance of the practice will help you take it seriously in your own life, Emmons says.

Once you’ve embraced gratitude, give it some time before you expect changes. With most small gratitude practices, benefits emerge at around the three-week mark, Emmons says — “long enough for a behavior to become a habit.” Though few studies have looked long-term, there is evidence that the effects can last for months, even years. “Changes can be permanent,” he says, “as the brain rewires.”

TIME Person of the Year 2014: The Choice Guest Post By Nancy Gibbs

They risked and persisted, sacrificed and saved. Editor Nancy Gibbs explains why the Ebola Fighters are TIME’s choice for Person of the Year 2014

Not the glittering weapon fights the fight, says the proverb, but rather the hero’s heart.

Maybe this is true in any battle; it is surely true of a war that is waged with bleach and a prayer.

For decades, Ebola haunted rural African villages like some mythic monster that every few years rose to demand a human sacrifice and then returned to its cave. It reached the West only in nightmare form, a Hollywood horror that makes eyes bleed and organs dissolve and doctors despair because they have no cure.

But 2014 is the year an outbreak turned into an epidemic, powered by the very progress that has paved roads and raised cities and lifted millions out of poverty. This time it reached crowded slums in Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone; it traveled to Nigeria and Mali, to Spain, Germany and the U.S. It struck doctors and nurses in unprecedented numbers, wiping out a public-health infrastructure that was weak in the first place. One August day in Liberia, six pregnant women lost their babies when hospitals couldn’t admit them for complications. Anyone willing to treat Ebola victims ran the risk of becoming one.

Which brings us to the hero’s heart. There was little to stop the disease from spreading further. Governments weren’t equipped to respond; the World Health Organization was in denial and snarled in red tape. First responders were accused of crying wolf, even as the danger grew. But the people in the field, the special forces of Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), the Christian medical-relief workers of Samaritan’s Purse and many others from all over the world fought side by side with local doctors and nurses, ambulance drivers and burial teams.

Ask what drove them and some talk about God; some about country; some about the instinct to run into the fire, not away. “If someone from America comes to help my people, and someone from Uganda,” says Iris Martor, a Liberian nurse, “then why can’t I?” Foday Gallah, an ambulance driver who survived infection, calls his immunity a holy gift. “I want to give my blood so a lot of people can be saved,” he says. “I am going to fight Ebola with all of my might.”

MSF nurse’s assistant Salome Karwah stayed at the bedsides of patients, bathing and feeding them, even after losing both her parents—who ran a medical clinic—in a single week and surviving Ebola herself. “It looked like God gave me a second chance to help others,” she says. Tiny children watched their families die, and no one could so much as hug them, because hugs could kill. “You see people facing death without their loved ones, only with people in space suits,” says MSF president Dr. Joanne Liu. “You should not die alone with space-suit men.”

Those who contracted the disease encountered pain like they had never known. “It hurts like they are busting your head with an ax,” Karwah says. One doctor overheard his funeral being planned. Asked if surviving Ebola changed him, Dr. Kent Brantly turns the question around. “I still have the same flaws that I did before,” he says. “But whenever we go through a devastating experience like what I’ve been through, it is an incredible opportunity for redemption of something. We can say, How can I be better now because of what I’ve been through? To not do that is kind of a shame.”

So that is the next challenge: What will we do with what we’ve learned? This was a test of the world’s ability to respond to potential pandemics, and it did not go well. It exposed corruption in African governments along with complacency in Western capitals and jealousy among competing bureaucrats. It triggered mistrust from Monrovia to Manhattan. Each week brought new puzzles. How do you secure a country, beyond taking passengers’ temperatures at the airport? Who has the power to order citizens to stay home, to post a guard outside their door? What will it take to develop treatments for diseases largely confined to poor nations, even as this Ebola outbreak had taken far more lives by mid-October than all the earlier ones combined?

The death in Dallas of Thomas Eric Duncan, the first Ebola patient diagnosed on U.S. soil, and the infection of two nurses who treated him, shook our faith in the ability of U.S. hospitals to handle this kind of disease. From there the road to full freak-out was a short one. An Ohio middle school closed because an employee had flown on the same plane as one of Duncan’s nurses. Not the same flight, just the same plane. A Texas college rejected applicants from Nigeria, since that country had some “confirmed Ebola cases.” A Maine schoolteacher had to take a three-week leave because she went to a teachers’ conference in Dallas. Fear, too, was global. When a nurse in Spain contracted Ebola from a priest, Spanish authorities killed her dog as a precaution, while #VamosAMorirTodos (We’re all going to die) trended on Twitter. Guests at a hotel in Macedonia were trapped in their rooms for days after a British guest got sick and died. Turned out to have nothing to do with Ebola.

The problem with irrational responses is that they can cloud the need for rational ones. Just when the world needed more medical volunteers, the price of serving soared. When nurse Kaci Hickox, returning from a stint with MSF in Sierra Leone with no symptoms and a negative blood test, was quarantined in a tent in Newark, N.J., by a combustible governor, it forced a reckoning. “It is crazy we are spending so much time having this debate about how to safely monitor people coming back from Ebola-endemic countries,” says Hickox, “when the one thing we can do to protect the population is to stop the outbreak in West Africa.”

Ebola is a war, and a warning. The global health system is nowhere close to strong enough to keep us safe from infectious disease, and “us” means everyone, not just those in faraway places where this is one threat among many that claim lives every day. The rest of the world can sleep at night because a group of men and women are willing to stand and fight. For tireless acts of courage and mercy, for buying the world time to boost its defenses, for risking, for persisting, for sacrificing and saving, the Ebola fighters are TIME’s 2014 Person of the Year.

Read more:
TIME’s 2014 Person of the Year: The Ebola Fighters

The Truth Will Set You Free Guest Post by Rubin Khoddam, M.A

Every week during a group counseling session I facilitate, people go around and check-in about their current thoughts and feelings. What I’ve been noticing since I started is not something so different from what happens outside of therapy, which is that people will say what they think you want to hear. When going around the group, I will hear people describe their current hardships for several minutes and then finish their check-in with “but, other than that, I’m ok.”

We’ve all been guilty of doing this type of thing. In one sentence, we rationalize, accommodate, and negate all of our previous experiences. We go on for 5 minutes describing all our troubles and then negate it with a simple “but I’m ok.”

The first step is to speak your truth. Are you really ok? What does “ok” even mean? Does “ok” mean that you stuff the feelings associated with all the negative things for just a few minutes to get through it, but in reality, the stress of everything shows up in other ways (e.g. drugs, eating, alcohol, gambling, shopping, anger, etc.)?

Maybe “ok” means that you acknowledge all the difficulties going on in your life, but that you also acknowledge that there are some pretty good things too (e.g. good health, satisfied relationships, a good friend, money, etc.). If this is the case, why not devote some attention to these instead of swiping it under the broad category of “ok.” It’s so easy for our focus to drift towards the negative, but it can be just as valuable to focus on the positive. What are the things that are “ok”? The positives can often be great teachers for the negatives. How you get to the positives in one area of life can teach you how to get to the positives in other areas of your life.

Whatever “ok” means, speak your truth. If something is difficult, sit with the difficulty, acknowledge it by name, and describe it. You don’t have to live in the pain, but you also don’t have to deny it. It’s easy to jump from situation to situation without taking time to realize what is going on. Life happens. We’re betrayed. We’re lied to. A loved one dies. We’re fired. Where we get into trouble is that we ignore all these hardships and say things are “ok,” but then the hardships show up in ways that we didn’t realize. They show up in our relationships, in our anger, in our impatience, how we talk to other people, and more importantly, how we talk to ourselves.

The second step is to speak the truth of your experience for better AND for worse. If you’re having a hard week, nothing can be more satisfying than saying “I’m having a really difficult week because of X, Y, and Z, and I don’t know how to get through it.” It’s ok to not have the answers. Part of what the path of sobriety, and life in general, is about is building tolerance to life’s difficulties and finding ways of dealing with them in healthy, and ideally, productive ways. Research suggests that our lack of tolerance to life’s difficulties may partially account for alcohol andmarijuana problems (Buckner et al., 2007).

If you’re having a good day, what is going well? If you’re having a hard day, still what is something that is going well or has been going well? Speak your truth from both the positive and negative perspective. The balance comes in asking ourselves, “How can I effectively navigate and deal with all the stress in my life, while still realizing, appreciating, and savoring all that is going well?

It’s hard to acknowledge the hardships because once we acknowledge what is happening, it’s out in the open. And when it’s out there, we often feel like we have to do something about it. However, it often takes time to realize what to do. There are things that can help though, such as journaling or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. Whatever path you choose, let honesty drive you through it all – honesty in your experience; honesty in your difficulties; honesty in your accomplishments. Don’t be confused by the word “accomplishments.” It doesn’t have to be some grand accomplishment of lifelong sobriety, but it could be being sober for one day.

Whatever your truth is, I’ll leave you with a quote by Iyanla Vanzant who said

“The truth will set you free, but you have to endure the labor pains of birthing it.”

What is the truth that you need to speak? How can you begin to cope with that truth? More importantly, how can you be patient through the process of birthing the truth? What is going right in your life and what could be going more right?

Rubin Khoddam is a PhD student in Clinical Psychology at the University of Southern California whose research and clinical work focuses on substance use issues. He founded a website, Psych Connection, with the goal of connecting ideas, people, research, and self-help to better connect you to yourself and those around you.

READ MORE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-addiction-connection/201408/the-truth-will-set-you-free

Violence in Nursing: What, Why and How to Respond Guest Post By Jennifer Ward

The propensity for violence in nursing, particularly in the Emergency Room (ER), is abnormally high. After all, emotions are extremely volatile and judgment is often clouded. In turn, most facilities have instituted a respective “violence-prevention” program to monitor work related assaults but unfortunately, while this intervention can reduce the number of incidents, not all can be prevented.

So, what is workplace violence? Most people think of it as solely being physical but consider the following forms of violence which are often dismissed:

  • Threatening behavior – Shaking fists, destroying property or throwing objects.
  • Verbal or written threats – Any expression of intent to inflict harm.
  • Harassment – Any behavior that demeans, embarrasses, humiliates, annoys, alarms or verbally abuses a person and that is known or would be expected to be unwelcome. This includes words, gestures, intimidation, bullying or other inappropriate activities.
  • Verbal abuse – Rumors, swearing, insults or condescending language.
  • Physical attacks – Hitting, shoving, pushing or kicking.

We, as nurses, are the frontline staff and therefore it is important to understand the risk factors associated with a situation that might increase the likelihood for violence. Think about these risk factors which set the stage for such acts:

  • In the healthcare arena, emotions are heightened.
  • When violence in nursing erupts, staff in the healthcare sector are usually unequipped to fully respond. If there is security, it might take time for them to respond and this time might be longer than the time it takes to commit an act of violence.
    • As nurses, we are focused on patient care—we and other healthcare providers are often able to handle violent behavior when it escalates.
  • In some settings, such as in the ER or inner city hospitals, there is an increased prevalence of the use of handguns by patients and their families.
  • Often, drug use by patients and or their family members comes into play. Such activity clouds rational judgment.
  • In the neighboring parking lots, there is typically poor lighting and decreased security. Hence, there is an increased likelihood for such activity.

What Can Nurses Do?

  • Review policies related to violence in the workplace.
    • Memorize the number for security.
  • Recognize if there is a volatile situation between patients and guests and notify security.
  • When leaving the premises at night or in the early hours, assess the surroundings, and park in an area with good lighting.
  • Walk out to your car with another staff person.
  • Work with your co-workers and management team to help to develop a nursing culture whereby there is a no-tolerance policy for violence and related behavior.

Acts of violence are not always “physical acts”. It is important to remember that everyone has a role in safety promotion so we can all prevent violence in nursing.

– See more at: http://www.nursetogether.com/violence-in-nursing-what-why-how#sthash.eL58C4Dn.dpuf

What Kind of Leader Are You? Guest Posted by: Seth Kenvin

n an interesting Harvard Business Review post, INSEAD professor Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries defined eight archetypes of leadership, a thought-provoking model based on underlying research.

The 8 Leadership Archetypes


Of course nobody personifies just one of these to the exclusion of the others, but many can be primarily associated with particular archetypes, including some notable people.

Madonna-1The strategist: Pop stars come, and pop stars go. But to hit the charts in 1983 and still be around three decades later, you have to plan diligently and iterate regularly. Madonna is known for reinventing herself to survive and thrive in the volatile world of the music industry. She looks at the big picture, spots trends most people haven’t seen yet, and positions herself accordingly. She’s recorded in every style from pop to country & western, and found new ways to outrage people almost every year.

If you’re a strategist, you’ll do well in situations where you or your company need new directions, but you may struggle with the nitty-gritty of motivating and managing people.

dunlapThe change-catalyst: If you love diving into messy situations and taking quick, decisive action, you’re a change-catalyst. Famed CEO Al Dunlap, nicknamed “Chainsaw Al”, was a classic change-catalyst, taking over struggle companies and making drastic, decisive changes.

At Scott Paper in the 1990s, for example, he tripled the company’s value from $3 billion to $9.4 billion, in just over a year, although that did involve firing 11,000 employees, eliminating philanthropy, slashing investments in R&D and closing factories. Change-catalysts are not always so ruthless but they generally thrive in tricky situations that call for strong leadership, while often struggling in more stable environments.


The transactor: Donald Trump is a classic transactor. He started with his father’s firm of suburban residential properties, and quickly started wheeling and dealing his way to more glitzy projects like office towers and lavish casino resorts. His risk-taking style has put him in and out of bankruptcy, but also helped him recover to own millions of square feet of prime Manhattan real estate and build a net worth of $3.9 billion (as well as starring in The Apprentice, of course).

If you share Trump’s dynamic, deal-driven approach, you’re likely to thrive on new challenges, and be great at networking. But you may neglect day-to-day management in favor of pursuing the next opportunity.

bezosThe builder: When Jeff Bezos started Amazon in 1994, he was storing and shipping the books from his Seattle garage. Now, he’s built a $140 billion ecommerce giant, as well as starting a human spaceflight company and buying The Washington Post. What ensured his success was not just his vision, but his drive. Bezos is notoriously details-oriented, taking personal interest in much of what goes on inside his corporation.

This blend of creativity, energy and determination defines the builder. You always make an impact and get things done, but can sometimes be difficult to work with, coming across as too controlling.

EinsteinThe innovator: Would you like to work for Albert Einstein? As brilliant as he was, he sometimes found it hard to relate to ordinary people. This is a man who once lectured his 8-year-old grandson for 3 hours on the mathematical properties of soap bubbles. In 1952, he was offered the presidency of Israel, but turned it down, saying he wouldn’t be good at working with people.

If you’re an innovator, you are always curious about new things, and great at inventing new solutions. You’re may not be very practical, though, nor like managing other people. Try to work in tandem with someone who is more task-oriented.

sandbergThe processor: Processors love order and structure. Sheryl Sandberg plays a processor role at Facebook, directing the company’s creative energy towards business productivity. She led determination of a revenue model, mostly based on advertising, and helped the company transition from fast-growing startup to profitable public company, via a massive IPO.

As a processor, you want to make things more efficient. You’ll work dependably in a variety of management roles, but you might struggle in volatile situations requiring frequent changes of direction.

Jackson-1The coach: Jackson’s “Zen Master” nickname is a tribute to his holistic coaching style, taking a broad view of what each player could contribute in terms of personality and character, in addition to passing and shot blocking, and working to get the best out of each of them.

If you’re good at listening to, supporting and motivating other people, you can be classified as a coach. You’ll thrive as a motivational leader of action-oriented teams like sales, but your loyalty to your people may cause conflict when layoffs or other unpleasant decisions are needed.

oprah-1The communicator: Communicators have a gift for inspiring people. That gift has been clear throughout Oprah Winfrey’s career: whether on local TV, national TV, print, movies or other outlets, she’s always been able to connect with people.

If you find it easy to motivate people and convey your vision, you’re probably a communicator. You’ll quickly develop a loyal following, but the danger of this leadership style is that you may make ambitious promises and fail to follow through. Make sure that you surround yourself with people who can handle the details and implement your ideas.

– See more at: http://blog.geteverwise.com/what-kind-of-leader-are-you?utm_content=11006550&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter#sthash.qtqplIdq.dpuf