The Tao Te Ching: Verse Seventy-Nine

After settling a great dispute
There must be remaining resentments
How can this be considered good?
Therefore the sage holds the left part of the contract
But does not demand payment from the other person
Those who have virtue hold the contract
Those without virtue hold the collections

The Heavenly Tao has no favorites
It constantly gives to the kind people

                                                                              Lao Tzu

Letting go of the need for resentment, finding peace after an angry dispute; is it possible? According to Lao Tzu, the wise person (the Sage) has reached a point in his/her personal awareness that they cannot justify their need for resentment therefore; they are able to let go.

What fuels resentment? Is it the need to be seen as right? Do we imagine ourselves as champions of some great principle? It is a tool to justify your shortcomings and promote blame? Do we need to experience the echoes of pain that much? Whatever the lure of holding onto resentment offers, Lao Tzu cautions to be very careful for resentment is seductive. It can lead you into a delusional mindset of Righteousness that can only serve to isolate and separate you from the others and options. Nothing good can from that outcome.

The Buddha instructed that, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else…you are the one who gets burned.” The paradox of resentment is that the anger directed toward another actually only affects you. It holds you hostage to a perpetual state of discontent.  There is nothing healthy, noble or righteous in this. A wounded heart does not have to scar over with inelastic tissue and stiffen. A wounded heart can use the pain to connect with compassion; even if it is only for yourself; and let go.

“Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” ~ The Buddha

 

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