Who Heals The Healers? Soul Talk with Nancy SantoPietro

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“Soul Talk” Series #2 Presents

Who Heals The Healers?

Presented by Nancy “Andie” SantoPietro

Calling All Nurses, Body Workers, Acupuncturists, Therapists, Healers, Counselors, Teachers, Family Caregivers, Helping Professionals

 and those of us who are here in the service of others… 

Although it’s a most incredible time to be alive on the planet… in creating this new world today we also have had to walk through the sense of unbearable shifts and very confusing changes!   But for those of you who have been on the front lines of caring and held specific lifelong ”service contracts” to assist others; it has been especially challenging! 

For years, you had to put your own personal work (and life) on the back burner while first making sure that “everyone else got safely on to the lifeboat”!  As you each begin to turn the focus on yourself - many are wondering if that… boat has left without them? 

Are you questioning your life’s work as a human service provider?

Trying to figure out your new role on the planet today? 

This workshop will address:

  • The “bigger picture” of what is happening on the planet and how it is impacting you directly
  • Tools needed to function in this new reality
  • How to re-purpose your work and check for “expiration dates” on your original service contract
  • Help you identify/transmute the belief systems that are limiting your movements forward and gumming up the works!
  • Learn how to shift out from the craziness and find your new place in this rapidly changing landscape!


         Dates:            Sunday, June 23, 2013

         Location:        META Center- 214 West 29th Street NYC 10001 16th floor

         Time:              10AM- 4PM 

          Fee:               $150 — $25 off ($125) if you register by June 3rd!    

To RegisterContact Diane Hoffmann at NSP&A. Inc. 

nsanpietro@aol.com or call 718-256-2640

Space Limited: Email or Call to Reserve Your Seat ASAP!! 

http://www.fengshui-santopietro.com/

Nancy “Andie” SantoPietro is an internationally known Feng Shui Expert, Lightworker & Author of Best Sellers, Feng Shui: Harmony By Design and Feng Shui & Health: The Anatomy of a Home. 

She lectures worldwide, including such venues  as NYC Open Center and the Omega Institute 

New Book: The Delicate Balance; A Mindful Approach to Self-Care for Professional & Family Caregivers

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  Phyllis Quinlan, RN-Bc, PhD

mfwconsultants@gmail.com

www.mfwconsultants.com

New Book Provides Insight and Guidance for Professional and Family Caregivers Struggling with the Consequences of Caring Too Much: Compassion Fatigue

The Delicate Balance is a must read resource for professional and family caregivers who are encountering the aftermath of neglecting to take as good care of themselves as they do others.

Flushing, New York (3.1.13) –Caring is the act of turning compassion into action. Caregivers are amazing and generous people who often develop the signs and symptoms of Compassion Fatigue as a cost of prolonged caring for others in physical or emotional need. Compassion fatigue is the erosion of a caring nature. It can be the consequence of over exposure to patients, clients, or family members with chronic conditions.

In the past only the six million plus professional caregivers and first responders in the United States were thought to be at high risk for the development of role overload. However, we now know that compassion fatigue is not exclusive to the healthcare and rescue professionals. Those caring for a frail, elderly parent, chronically ill or challenged family member (44 million families) are just as susceptible to compassion fatigue over time as those in the high-risk professions.

Phyllis Quinlan RN, PhD, registered nurse, international author, public speaker, and personal coach is proud to announce the release of her newest book The Delicate Balance: A Mindful Approach to Self-Care for Professional and Family Caregivers. This heartfelt and poignant work is intended to help those professional and family caregivers who are suffering under the weight of caring too much at the expense of their own health and wellbeing.

The Delicate Balance uses the ancient wisdom offered by the Tao Te Ching to inspire and provide guidance. The reader will receive insights on the signs, symptoms and risk factors of the toxic effects of caring too much. The guidance offered can provide the reader with the steps to take for re-establishing perspective and maintaining The Delicate Balance necessary to staying whole, healthy and intact while caring for others.

For over 30 years, Phyllis Quinlan, RN, PhD has practiced as a registered nurse, educator, complementary therapy practitioner, consultant and personal coach. She understands that, “caring is not a sprint but a marathon and an undertaking of this nature requires preparation, training and a devoted attention to what it will take to keep you in the race.”

Her book The Delicate Balance: A Mindful Approach To Self-Care for Professional and Family Caregivers can be purchased by visiting Phyllis’ website www.mfwconsultants.com or it can be found in an ebook version on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BSWXN5S  in a Kindle platform.

The Tao Te Ching: Verse Eighty-One

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True words are not beautiful
Beautiful words are not true
Those who are good do not debate
Those who debate are not good
Those who know are not broad of knowledge
Those who are broad of knowledge do not know

Sages do not accumulate
The more they assist others, the more they possess
The more they give to others, the more they gain

The Tao of heaven
Benefits and does not harm
The Tao of sages
Assists and does not contend

                                                                           Lao Tzu

The more they assist others, the more they possess. The more they give to others, the more they gain. Lao Tzu clearly captures the essence of what drives a caregiver with these two simple sentences in this final verse of the Tao Te Ching. In the Buddhist tradition, caregivers possess what is termed Bodhicitta; the literal translation is an awakened heart. Many people study and engage in spiritual practice for years to develop the partnership between their head and heart (compassion and wisdom) that arises naturally in professional and family caregivers.

In the meditative practice designed to develop an awakened heart, the practitioner is taught to meditate on the two aspects of Bodhicitta which are both of equal importance. The first practice is intended to assist one in connecting with and anchoring the flow of caring and compassion one already feels. The second practice is aimed at acknowledging where your caring nature is still blocked. I respectfully suggest that the professional and family caregiver’s greatest blind spot is for insight into their personal need to devote equal time to their own wellbeing.

Caring is not a sprint it is a marathon. An undertaking of this nature requires preparation, training and a devoted attention to what it will take to keep you in the race. Those shaping the industry of healthcare are concentrating on wellness or preventative programs but the greater goal of their redesign is in returning the patient back to the community quickly and safely. However, we are slowly coming to realize that many of the community healthcare resources and systems that were available in recent years are greatly modified or no longer exist. This is but one of the consequences felt within the healthcare industry as a result of the economic downturn.

This reality places unimaginable stress on both professional and family caregivers. Emergency departments are being crushed as more and more hospitals close. Those individuals without healthcare coverage multiply daily and seek care in the only venue available to them. The strain of trying to deliver safe, quality patient care in the face of huge cuts in reimbursement and ever increasing regulatory oversight is taxing the resolve and spirit of many on the patient care front lines.

Families struggle to render care at home and keep loved ones of all ages comfortable and safe. Every day is an exercise in juggling work, family and caregiving responsibilities on a twenty-four hour shift that offers no break in sight. Most family caregivers did not ask for such responsibility; yet they did not run when the going got tough.

Individuals who stand ready to meet these challenges cannot fuel their awakened heart (Bodhicitta) from energetic fumes. They must be able to call upon a ready, intact source of power. This ability begins with gentle introspection that reveals a personal understanding of what your authentic motivation is in deciding to be a caregiver. Quiet time that enables you to get genuinely acquainted with your qualities and shortcomings and make friends with both is essential. You see, getting comfortable with who you are, who you may be become, and who you could never be creates the level playing field necessary for you to admit that you are a kindred spirit with those in your care. You may be indispensable but you are not indestructible.

You must make time for yourself regularly if you are going to be able to remain generous and available to help others. You must plan for it and not just piece it together from the scraps of time that are left over. You must be able to look forward to taking time for yourself not in some undetermined future but routinely.

Find a way to weave vibrational healing sessions into what you do for yourself. Follow the basic principles of Feng Shui and address the clutter in your environment that is reflecting the blockages in your personal energetic fields. Get rid of the clutter. Don’t organize it or store it in pretty containers; throw it out! Build meditation, massage, or Reiki or any other me centered holistic health practice into your routine like brushing your teach.

Honor your gift of an awakened heart and never take it for granted. Jesus of Nazareth declared, blessed are the merciful (the compassionate), for they shall obtain mercy. He shared these words so that those with an awaken heart would know that they are not alone. Please, take care of yourself at least as well as you take care of others.

Oṃ ma ṇi pad me hūṃ = I honor the life force within you

The Tao Te Ching: Verse Eighty

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Small country, few people
Let them have many weapons but not use them
Let the people regard death seriously
And not migrate far away

Although they have boats and chariots
They have no need to take them
Although they have armors and weapons
They have no need to display them

Let the people return to tying knots and using them
Savor their food, admire their clothes
Content in their homes, happy in their customs

Neighboring countries see one another
Hear the sounds of roosters and dogs from one another
The people, until they grow old and die
Do not go back and forth with one another

                                                                    Lao Tzu

It is not uncommon to hear friends and colleagues lament that there never seems to be enough hours in the day. It is not just that we are incredibly busy. It is as though time itself is compressed; squeezed into something dense and at times challenging to navigate. The paradox of modern living is that we often find ourselves longing for the Simple Life.  Is it possible to have both?  The guidance offered in this verse of the Tao suggests that it is.

The reason modern times feel so demanding is that we tend to isolate ourselves. Sure we have more ability to connect than ever. Internet, email, texting, phones that reach Mars but has that promoted socialization or has it just made it easier to communicate without leaving the office, car or our home?

Recently my tri-state region was pummeled by super storm Sandy. Much of the area lost electricity, phone service, cable and Internet for days. Many areas are still without power. That forced us back to basics. We started communicating in a more fundamental, simple way. We talked face to face. The effects of that great storm were profoundly devastating but we found solace and support as we began to reconnect and acknowledge our interdependence.

We are not meant to live solitary lives. We are meant to form communities and participate within them. We are meant to be neighbors. The lesson that we can take from this is remember to cultivate connectedness. However, as human beings we tend to fall back into our old ways so the true goal is to cultivate sustainable connectedness.

Sustainable connectedness has nothing to do with technology and everything to do with the feeling created by growing genuine relationships. The key to this is acceptance. We need to walk away from our dualistic nature to judge, comment and alienate and move toward promoting civility, respect and mutual support. I believe that this is possible.

We are entering an age that is described by some vibrational healers as a time of the Solar Feminine. This is a term for a world where the masculine (Yang) energetic principles of life; private ownership, greed, might over right and war are brought into balance by the feminine (Yin) energetic principles of collaboration, co-creation and connectedness.

The challenge is to balance the masculine and feminine energetic qualities we each possess. We can do this if we are willing to struggle less and ease into life as it is. We need to stop a minute, survey the clutter and remove the barriers to our ability to connect first with ourselves; than with others.

Deciding to commit to cultivating sustainable connectedness means making quiet time; being patient and coming to know yourself in a way that is gentle, kind and accepting. This is the foundation of compassion. Mediate on the Four Immeasurable:

  • Loving Kindness: the wish for you and all sentient beings, without exception, to be happy
  • Compassion: the wish for you and all sentient beings to be free from the self-imposed suffering or perpetual discontent
  • Joy: the ability to rejoice in your virtues and happiness and the virtue and happiness of others
  • Equanimity: the ability to be accepting of everyone as an equal

Make these virtues a part of your guiding principles. It is not that doing this will make it easier for you to connect. It is that doing this will make you irresistible therefore; creating and maintaining relationships will be Simple.

 

I

The Tao Te Ching: Verse Seventy-Nine

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After settling a great dispute
There must be remaining resentments
How can this be considered good?
Therefore the sage holds the left part of the contract
But does not demand payment from the other person
Those who have virtue hold the contract
Those without virtue hold the collections

The Heavenly Tao has no favorites
It constantly gives to the kind people

                                                                              Lao Tzu

Letting go of the need for resentment, finding peace after an angry dispute; is it possible? According to Lao Tzu, the wise person (the Sage) has reached a point in his/her personal awareness that they cannot justify their need for resentment therefore; they are able to let go.

What fuels resentment? Is it the need to be seen as right? Do we imagine ourselves as champions of some great principle? It is a tool to justify your shortcomings and promote blame? Do we need to experience the echoes of pain that much? Whatever the lure of holding onto resentment offers, Lao Tzu cautions to be very careful for resentment is seductive. It can lead you into a delusional mindset of Righteousness that can only serve to isolate and separate you from the others and options. Nothing good can from that outcome.

The Buddha instructed that, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else…you are the one who gets burned.” The paradox of resentment is that the anger directed toward another actually only affects you. It holds you hostage to a perpetual state of discontent.  There is nothing healthy, noble or righteous in this. A wounded heart does not have to scar over with inelastic tissue and stiffen. A wounded heart can use the pain to connect with compassion; even if it is only for yourself; and let go.

“Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” ~ The Buddha

 

The Tao Te Ching: Verse Seventy-Eight

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Nothing in the world is softer or weaker than water
Yet nothing is better at overcoming the hard and strong
This is because nothing can replace it

That the weak overcomes the strong
And the soft overcomes the hard
Everybody in the world knows
But cannot put into practice

Therefore sages say:
The one who accepts the humiliation of the state
Is called its master
The one who accepts the misfortune of the state
Becomes king of the world
The truth seems like the opposite

                                                                     Lao Tzu

Highlighting the characteristics of water was among the favorite analogies used by Lao Tzu to share his insights. I envision him sitting by a lake or river quietly meditating and gaining inspiration from the wonders of nature all around him. Water is such a paradox, nothing in the world is softer or weaker than water; yet nothing is better at overcoming the hard and strong.

This poetic description sounds like our human spirit, doesn’t it? We are so vulnerable to internal and external thoughts and opinions yet, when the going gets tough…So what is the lesson being shared in verse seventy eight? I believe it is to fully embrace our innate fluid nature.

When we are infants our bodies are composed of over seventy percent water. We are saturated with adaptability, resilience and the ability to flow in a different direction as we navigate obstacles. As we grow and age four very distinct things occur. Our bodies begin to wear out, slow down, cool off and dry up! Adult bodies are composed of only fifty percent water. Our internal well is literally running dry. Must this age specific dehydration process take its toll on our Spirits too? You know the answer.

Life is meant to present us with the challenges and obstacles that will reflect where we need to do our personal (Soul’s) work.  This is an unsettling and frustrating process that triggers our darker side. Nothing will dry you up quicker than anger followed by all the

other negative emotions that sap our benevolent natures. Most would advise to avoid the people, issues and events that would trigger those responses. I am going to suggest that you not deny any part of your nature but move closer to those emotions and vexations of the Spirit.

Find the fortitude to sit quietly and reflect on those things and people that relentlessly drain you of your vital fluid self. Accept don’t deny and please try to avoid justifying. Just float with who you are and make friends with yourself. Touch that essential goodness within and gently decide to shift course.

You can choose to envision your life as something to overcome or you can replenish your Spirit by adjusting your perspective. Observe nature. Floods, fires and other natural disasters can scar and destroy yet; they are also essential for survival and providing opportunities for new growth. Impermanence is at the core of our existence. You can choose to lose vital life force raging against change and lamenting over the past or you can be a phoenix and rise up. Overcome. Find your equanimity and say supple.

 

 

 

The Tao Te Ching: Verse Seventy-Seven

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The Tao of Heaven is like drawing a bow
Lower that which is high; raise that which is low
Reduce that which has excess; add to that which is lacking

The Tao of heaven reduces the excessive and adds to the lacking. The Tao of people is not so. It reduces the lacking in order to offer to the excessive

Who can offer their excess to the world? Only those who have the Tao
Therefore sages act without conceit; achieve without claiming credit
They do not wish to display their virtue!              

                                                                                                                          Lao Tzu

I believe these words from the Ta Te Ching are a tribute to the Virtue of Generosity found within all caregivers. I have said this often but it bears repeating. The ability to be a caregiver is not common. Caring is a special quality of a person’s character that enables a them to mobilize their compassionate nature into action. It is the highest form of generosity.

Family and professional caregivers not only give of their time and energy but they are often most generous with the knowledge they’ve gained through their experience. They share freely. They teach. They strive to make caring sustainable.

You see at the core of each caregiver is an energetic vibration in profound synchronization with the Tao. They get it! We are each a citizen of the Great Oneness; energetic siblings of the Universe. We intuitively know that what affects one affects us all. Our caring is not just what we do; it is a vital piece of who we are and what makes our time here on earth meaningful.